For the Son of God, Jesus Christ, who was preached among you by me and Silas and Timothy, was not “Yes” and “No,” but in him it has always been “Yes.”
~ 2 Corinthians 1:19

The year of Yes…

I never used to care that they would mix the play dough colors. Snack time used to be a loved event, laboring over what they should eat at 10am and 3pm. Something not too filling, but something that will tied them over until Dinner. Do I let them graze? Do I let them eat a brownie? Do I create a gourmet snack with a side of guilt dished up just for me?

“Speed Baths” were rare and not the norm. They would splash and I would clean up afterwards, not caring the bath water just MUST stay in the confines of the tub. Heaven forbid water would fall on the floor, forcing me to wipe it up, keeping the floor clean in the process!

I used to not be so afraid, afraid of loosing them, afraid of loosing him, afraid of sickness. Grandma died of cancer. I’m tired of being afraid of cancer. I’m tired of being afraid of being afraid. Afraid that they won’t follow the right path, afraid to let them out of my sight. I used to know who was influencing them. But now, are their little minds being protected when I’m not there to shelter them? Am I doing a disservice to them, allowing them to be taught and play with other children, or within my home, their mother as their teacher, should I have chosen that instead?

Apprehension in the place of peace, doubt in the place of belief, suspicion in the place of trust, fret in the place of stillness. Is that me wringing my hands? Is that a shake? Is this just the future that I am required to accept? Become a mom and a wife…say goodbye to rational thinking.

I refuse to accept it.

This is the year of Yes. The year of Now. The year of Truth.
Of speaking truth
Of believing in what is true
Of crushing the lies
Of not repeating the lies
Of real truth revelations
Of hearing the voice of God like never before
Of believing what that voice says…

“Child you are safe. Child you are loved. Child you are forgiven. Child you are worthy. Child you are just plain DOING A GOOD JOB.”

Who is this woman…held back by fear. Fear of man, fear of the unknown, fear of new things. Fear of losing something, fear of failure, or is it a fear of actually being successful.

Thank you Jesus today is a new day. You make all things new.
New days to laugh,
to play
to have tickle fights
to cuddle to sleep
to eat yet another pb&j sandwich, and be satisfied in it knowing their bellies are full and energy is flowing through their veins.
No guilt, no shame.
A day of challenges
A day of finding joy in the challenges and of how to tip toe around the guilt, into full freedom in Christ.
A new day to say Yes.

Yes we may throw blankets on the floor, pop popcorn, eat brownies and watch your Barbie movie.

Yes we may have a picnic in the living room. Let’s pretend the blanket is an island and the carpet is the water. I’ll clean up the ground in carpet jelly later.

Yes you may play outside, let’s get you bundled up and I know you will come back in 5 minutes later because of the cold…but I won’t resent the mud on your shoes.

Yes you can have your nightlight on and have another drink and go potty one last time. Kiss me on the way back to bed.

Yes I will lay with you, talk with you, dream with you. Even though I’ve had 3 little ones at my skirt all day long…you are my love…my best friend…Yes I have time for you.

Yes I will wake early, don my robe and pour coffee. Sit in the darkness and soak in the loving arms of Jesus. Yes I will listen and be still. Yes I will talk to you. Yes I will believe you.

I know the way I am writing is so beyond what I share here. I know it is borderline bearing my soul. I feel that I have friends out there…some I may know of…some I do not. All of which will become my fast friend in due time. I know some women need to bear some souls. To reach out and know there is someone else out there, in the beyond who is stepping along side of you day in and day out. Wearing a tread in the carpet…to the dryer….to the play room…to the fridge…to the changing table…and back again.

Bear your soul with me. This is the year of Yes. The year of Truth. Speak Truth. Now stop reading and go play with your kids…

I am happy to say she had pruney hands after this bath…and the floor was soaked.