She laughs at me when I call her my baby. I then ask her if she is a baby or a big girl and she repeats, “big gwerl!” She wants to do anything her sister does, she wants to wrestle like her brother. She’s my baby but more importantly, she is my last baby. I definitely see I am in denial about how big she is getting, since she wore a size 18 month dress to church yesterday, it is only natural that I still look at her like a baby.

I have no clue how make everyone I come in contact with happy, no clue how portray right from wrong without someone feeling I am judging them, no clue how to get through a day without calling on the name of Jesus. I also don’t have a clue how to wean her from her pacifier, or how to get her to wear her hair up for more than 30 seconds. I do know how to cuddle babies though, and brush long beautiful hair and I definitely know how to raise a child so beautiful she takes my breath away. I had lots of experience with that with her big sister and big brother. I may not know much….but….

I know how to be her mama…how do I do that? There’s no trick. Just be me, because that is all that was required of me when the Lord decided I would raise these children. I need not demand more of myself than that. He is love, he is kindness, he is not spiteful, I strive to be more like Him….so I can be the best mama to her…

On Wednesday I had the opportunity to hang out with friends, talk shop, listen to talented and experienced photographers and have a really fun day. WPPI came to Sacramento (Wedding & Portrait Photographers International) and I’m really glad I was able to go (thank you babe for being an awesome Daddy all day so I could go!) It was the first time hearing photographers like Jonathan Canlas, who shoot in pure film. It wasn’t enough to make me want to switch from digital, but I definitely got the itch to pull out the ancient camera my dad gave me and see what I could do with a roll of film.

Each hour that passed that day I became more and more confident and excited about my photography. Not in my ability, because I am constantly learning and growing, but in what I am passionate about shooting. I may not be an insanely expensive, over the top wedding photographer like one of the speakers…but I’m a mom with a camera and I love it. My passion is to capture families right now, in exactly their place of living. I am excited about what my photography is all about.

Here are just a few snapshots…I didn’t take many pictures at all during the day, too busy taking notes!!

hmmmm….any guesses on what my name is? Sheesh!

(oh my goodness Cierra’s iphone hurt my heart!)                          (I actually won something!)                                               ( just the girls hanging out!)

(from left to right) Me (apparently  showing off my fake smile) , Jeanette, Juanita, Cierra and Susanne

…Lily is officially out of diapers. Not even a pull-up at night. This is all extremely bittersweet…honestly, way more sweet than bitter :)

Yes…I do take photos of my children on the potty.

ps. Last night’s APC home party was so much fun! To all of the wonderful women that stopped by my table, thank you for the lovely compliments and I certainly hope to meet you again in the future!

z