Lily is the only one tiny enough to fit in it, Abby is very distraught that she doesn’t fit at all!

If you want to incorporate this pedal car into our session, please contact me and let’s talk about it! I’m thinking a little boy wearing a pub cap and a tweed blazer, or a little girl in a yellow vintage dress…oh the ideas I have! I can’t wait to incorporate this into my nephew’s 1 year old session. I hope I can pull off my vision for him!

It was a quick weekend, I felt like we needed more time. One moment that I will always remember is when us granddaughters came together with our Moms and fingered through Grandma’s jewelry. She didn’t wear very much, and what she had was modest and I’m glad to have chosen just a few small pieces that I can remember her by. A small heart to wear on a chain around my neck, it looks like a piece of gold Grandma may have panned for on one of her camping trips. A small shape of Baja Mexico to be worn as a necklace, Grandma & Grandpa would take their motor home and travel to Mexico quite often. She was always so supportive of my husband and I’s call to Mexico.

It all felt very eerily familiar since it just feels like yesterday that we did the same thing with my Grandma B’s jewelry. I lost both my Grandma’s within a year of each other…more than that my Mom lost both her mom’s within a year of each other. That is incomprehensible. In my reality…my Mom will always be with me.

To honor my Grandma, houses were rented on the beach, tons of food was brought and we all tried to laugh as much as possible. She wanted us to do that, and she would have loved to have been there. I am truly thankful for the weekend we all had together.

As soon as we pulled up to the driveway, something in me changed. It is the beach. It is the sun and the sand. I made my husband promise that we would live on the beach one day. I think more and more that we go there, he realizes how important it is to me. I’m not sure why the Lord has called me the middle of California and not the ocean’s edge, but one day I know I will get there.

My first baby girl is 7 and my last baby girl is now potty trained…oh yeah…more on that later!! It is all happening very fast.

We went out over the weekend, just our little family of 5 to Old Sacramento. We walked around, mommy took pictures, we ate ice cream, chocolate dipped oreos and rice crispy treats with sprinkles on them. Daddy pointed out the beautiful river boat where he proposed to Mommy, Abby said, “Oh I remember that story!” She loves to hear me tell it.

On Sunday we had a lovely birthday party with close family. We all went around and spoke words of life into her, told her how much we loved her and what she meant to us. I told her she is important to me because she made me a mommy for the first time, and I love being a mommy. She knows that. Out of the blue the other day she says to me, “you love being a mommy don’t you.” It wasn’t a question, she knew what she was saying. I stopped whatever I was doing and looked her in the eyes, “Yes Abby, I love being a mommy…I love being *your* Mommy”.

Love you Abs…

I gave Abby a haircut. She looks so big and a bit sassy now. I tell her she is one of my best friends, she replies, “I know.”

I’ve been taking photos like mad with it though! Abby of course is my willing model. She is just lovely.

ps. My birthday is in just over a week. I’m entering the last year of my 20’s. I think that calls for an extra special birthday present right??!! :) :)

Abby & I had some time together a couple days ago, just in our backyard right before bedtime. The light is beautiful at that time and she was a very willing model. Love that girl so much. She lost another tooth the other night. She declared she wanted “ten bucks” from the tooth fairy :)

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Then I think of my own Mom, who seriously *has* been a mom for a very long time. She has put up with a lot of our schemes and tricks, there being 5 of us to take care of. She has endured quite a bit of loss, in a natural sense and I would imagine great loss as well when us kids don’t go down the path that she prayed for us to go down, which believe it or not has happened quite a bit with us kids. This is also her first Mother’s day that she doesn’t have her Mom to celebrate with. That makes me sad.

I don’t know half of what my Mom knows. But what I do know, is that being a mom is really really hard. Can I put a few more reallys in there? Sometimes I can’t even think about my kids, can’t even put their little faces in my brain or the love I have for them will literally hurt so much I can’t breathe.

I never imagined that my life would be given up for three tiny little beings…but it has been given up, every day I give it up again in may different ways…

Changing diaper after diaper
Kissing bloody knees
Searching for precious blankies and lost pacifiers at 4am
Watching them fall sleep
Praying for the nightmares to be washed away
Cooking
Cleaning
Giving snacks
Giving up my favorite things
Pretending I don’t want my last piece of garlic bread so they can have it
Snuggling them to sleep when I know I should allow them to do learn how to sleep on their own
Allowing her to put off doing her homework so I can just listen to her talk
Folding tiny sock after tiny shirt after tiny pairs of undies with buzz lightyear on them or the days of the week
Homeschooling them or making the heart wrenching decision to
Send them to school
Giving up a career
Giving up sleep
Giving up….everything
…and I love it. Every last second of it.

Hopefully we will get to plan a real family session with his mommy & daddy this summer. He looks *exactly* like his dad (minus the extreme amount of baby chub!)

Amy Schuff Photography will be closed the 18th to the 28th. Feel free to email while I’m gone, I’ll respond to you when I get back!

Oh how I will miss my cheeky little princess while I’m gone!!

This was taken in my living room, large window to her right, curtains as a background and husband holding the fan to blow her beautiful hair. We had never used the fan before, I will definitely be using it again!

She’s got the smile down :)