Can you feel it? Spring is right around the corner…just a few more days…two weeks ago CA got snow flurries and this week we had to put on sunscreen. The beauty of one of my favorite seasons is upon us. I can’t wait…why?

1. I love photographing outdoors…all. the. time! A little bit of rain doesn’t scare me :) Right now I have a date with a field full of yellow flowers and my beautiful long haired 3 year old. Must go before someone decides the flowers need to be removed!

2. Next month I will be holding Mother’s Day Mini Sessions! I’m really hoping they will be a blessing to some amazing Mothers. Stay tuned for details…

3. Home renovations start! Our house gets a new coat of paint, my kitchen gets a color overhaul and my furniture gets new identities. I hope to blog it all and get some tips in the process (because I definitely don’t see myself giving home decorating tips!!)

In the mean time…go visit one of my favorite blogs in the entire webosphere, In The Fun Lane! Holly, the blog owner and amazing decorator, helped me out with a design question I had. She’s a super sweet girl with amazing taste in furniture!

ps. You may have noticed my new nifty connection buttons on the left of the blog! Click either of the buttons to connect with me through facebook or twitter!

We don’t get snow here in Sacramento, but we are famous for the fog. Yesterday it settled deep and didn’t burn off until almost noon. A first for me, photographing fog, I grabbed my camera and 50mm lens, drove down to the park by our house and proceeded to step in the thick fog…and soaking grass. My Chucks and long jeans didn’t thank me.

Some days these photos could be a metaphor for the deep fog that may settle on you or I.  All the things we need to do or to be. But the wonderful thing is that the fog burns off, maybe later than we want, maybe later than normal…but it always burns off.

…with a side of hazelnut coffee.

“You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you;

I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you,

in a dry and parched land where there is no water.”

Proverbs 63:1

I remember one family gathering when I was a young girl, we were at my Aunt’s house I believe (a place that we didn’t go very often). These family reunions happened once a year, mostly at Christmastime. Now as a young woman I understand why we had such distance, but at the time I didn’t understand it at all.

At this particular reunion my Aunt took me into her garage to show me a dollhouse, complete with furniture and dolls. It was beautiful, it was more than my little eyes had ever beheld and it was not to be played with. Another thing I couldn’t understand.

As their Christmas present, my husband made our girls a doll house. It had always been my dream that if I ever had a little girl, she would have a doll house and she could play with every inch of it. It turns out that my husband had the same dream too. Pink shutters, a chandelier, a picture of our family hanging in the living room, twinkle lights and carpet…it was all put together with our two little girls in mind. As soon as the girls opened it, they put in all the little dolls they could find, they filled the rooms with beds and created furniture with whatever they could find. I love their imaginations.

I have to admit…I love it too. At one point I told my husband I’m not sure who he was making it for…the girls or me.

My favorite holiday is approaching…just a few more days! Of course I am celebrating it in true Amy style…only a couple gifts have been wrapped and my house is a wreck. BUT….it is Christmas nonetheless, and it will be Christmas whether I decorate or not!

I made my own gift labels this year (I figured, I’m making most our gifts so why not make the labels? Or truthfully…why not add something ELSE for me to do this holiday??!) I’m sure there are so many options out on the internet, but if these suit your style, feel free to download them here or click on the picture to start your download. But here’s a piece of advice…write on them *before* you take all the time to cut them out so then if you mess up on a name, it won’t be a big deal…I’m NOT speaking from experience…and this did NOT happen to me on the very first label I cut :)

Have you ever heard that small voice in your head…the one that says to stop trying, you’re not good enough. The one that tries hard to instill fear into what is a strong, confident woman. The Enemy in the form of Fear reared its ugly head yesterday and I’m declaring that I’m not listening…

I’m

Not

Listening.

An amazing opportunity opened up for me, but it also opened up the opportunity for me to be critiqued, judged and for my pride to be out for all to see. I stood face forward into that opportunity and declared that it could say whatever it wanted, do whatever it wanted…I was going to jump. I wasn’t going to sit by and fear what might happen anymore.

As I was browsing a fellow local photographer’s site…I started to feel competition wave over me…actually there isn’t any competition at all…I know that they have more advanced talents than I do. I imagine they have more fancy cameras and they have been using photoshop for longer than I have. They are older, more established and definitely not the mommy-blogger type. They keep their blog professional and don’t spill their guts for all to see like I do. I started to feel small…so very very small.

Then I heard the Other Voice. It said loud and clear, “Shut it down”. And I did. I shut the window to their site down so fast that I didn’t have time to second guess who was telling me to do it.

Do you second guess yourself? There is always someone out there that is better…bigger…stronger…

Who

Cares.

I decided a long time ago that I wouldn’t compare myself to others. If you start to compare your photos to the next person’s you will find that you won’t even want to pick up your camera. How tragic. I can say this because I have lived it.

How can I ever get as good as (fill in the blank)???

Let’s change our thinking…how about…How can I gain more confidence in myself? I guarantee it isn’t comparing yourself to someone else. I guarantee it comes from practice, picking up your camera and shooting. It comes from tinkering in your editing program  and asking friends if you can take their photos. It comes from looking at your work and saying, “that is good!”. Come on…say it. “That is good!”

I commit to staying out of the comparing game. It is exhausting. It is fruitless.

This is me…

I’m not fancy, I learn new things every day, I make a fool of myself so that your kids will crack up and I’m addicted to saying LOL and making smiley faces in my posts :)

That is it…take it or leave it. I’m going to take it.

So who are you? Think about it for a second…only for a moment and then let that revelation wash over you like cool water. Don’t think too hard or you will start to think of what you aren’t or what you wish you were. Exhausting I tell you…that is pure exhausting.

At least that is what the kids call him…

We found him over the weekend at the wedding location and knew the kids would go crazy over him. I just really hope they don’t go too crazy and squash the poor guy!

She laughs at me when I call her my baby. I then ask her if she is a baby or a big girl and she repeats, “big gwerl!” She wants to do anything her sister does, she wants to wrestle like her brother. She’s my baby but more importantly, she is my last baby. I definitely see I am in denial about how big she is getting, since she wore a size 18 month dress to church yesterday, it is only natural that I still look at her like a baby.

I have no clue how make everyone I come in contact with happy, no clue how portray right from wrong without someone feeling I am judging them, no clue how to get through a day without calling on the name of Jesus. I also don’t have a clue how to wean her from her pacifier, or how to get her to wear her hair up for more than 30 seconds. I do know how to cuddle babies though, and brush long beautiful hair and I definitely know how to raise a child so beautiful she takes my breath away. I had lots of experience with that with her big sister and big brother. I may not know much….but….

I know how to be her mama…how do I do that? There’s no trick. Just be me, because that is all that was required of me when the Lord decided I would raise these children. I need not demand more of myself than that. He is love, he is kindness, he is not spiteful, I strive to be more like Him….so I can be the best mama to her…